Conservative Parents and Gay Children: 3 Ways to Survive the Holidays


"I was a 26-year-old seminary student in the midst of coming out. Depression had arrested my personality and I was furious at God. I was drowning in waters of anxiety and worry. Seeing myself toil over my sexuality, my mother responded to my angst. Without my knowing, she invited my boyfriend and his parents over for the holidays.

My mother greeted them in one of those moments that felt like a hundred years. She was hugging his mother. I was elated to be her son, yet simultaneously terrified that I was too needy. I worried that I was wasting credit with her. It was as if I was spending my last $20 on the old carnival game, whack-a-mole.

Yet there my mother stood in solidarity. She was going to be my pillar of security.

I have to say that she was not steadfast because she approved of my gay relationship. She's a conservative Christian pastor and my sexual orientation leaves her a bit uncomfortable. Her gesture wasn't a statement of acceptance for my choice to date men. Her role as my mother came first. She was my mom no matter what reality was created by my development. She was accepting the role of love and not that of fear..."

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Posted on December 17, 2015 .